My Textamony

I was only 11yrs old when I first became a gangmember. The young lords was the name. It seems now so long ago. I stayed with them until about the age of 19. My life was not an easy one. It was pretty much a life void of love, compassion. It was also void of vision. I could see no future for myself. My only goal was to make it into the next day, and that usually intailed a great fight just to make it into the next day. My home was as disfunctional and as void as I was. I was a motherless and fatherless child. Those who mirrored authority in my life were abusive and currupt. But one good thing I can remember was that I had a praying grandmother. She herself was also being abused by the same people I was. Yet every morning, noon and night I saw her stop to pray. Many nights I could hear her in tears crying out to God for me, my sister and my brother. I could’nt understand then but I questioned how could she believe in a God she could not see to help us and she could help us or herself. Yet she continued to pray until the day she died. Although it was years later by what seemed to be by accedent I and my sister where on our way to church. Not because I wanted to go but because they made us go. (that was to get us out of the way) Anyway we where about to pass a small pentecustal church when I heard them singing and dancing. What I understand now in the spirit (Holy Gost). I stoped to look. At that moment I can say now that my grandmothers prayers became flesh or manifested. I was cought up in the presence of God. I could’nt understand what God wanted with me, someone so full of hait and bitter as can be. God surely had to have lost His mind. I felt as if I was being lead by the hand into the church where I sat at the back cry my heart out. By the time the preacher got started I was up and in the front of the church and not on my own strenght I might add. I could hear a voice not coming out of the preacher asking me if I wanted to live. All I could say was yes. Something in me knew that it was’nt to live as we know on an earthly term but eternal life. The preacher did’nt know what to do.lol. This was new to him. Here is this gang member come out of know where. All I knew was that by the time I got home something fresh, new had happend to me. I had been cleasened by the Blood of the Lamb. No dought in my mind. The hait was gone. Love took it’s place. The bitterness was gone and forgiveness took its place. I was bornagain. New life and new vision for the future. There is nothing that God cannot do. So today I too am a praying grandmother with 10 grandchildren to watch over thru prayer.