Daddy's Little Girl - Part 8

Daddy’s Little Girl – Part 8

Praise the Lord, everybody, and good morning.  Continuing with the series on Daddy’s Little Girl, please turn with me to Genesis chapter 38.

Genesis 38

And it came to pass at that time that Judah went down from his brethren, and turned in to a certain Adullamite, whose name was Hirah. And Judah saw there a daughter of a certain Canaanite, whose name was Shuah; and he took her, and went in unto her. And she conceived, and bare a son; and he called his name Er. And she conceived again, and bare a son; and she called his name Onan. And she yet again conceived, and bare a son; and called his name Shelah: and he was at Chezib, when she bare him. And Judah took a wife for Er his firstborn, whose name was Tamar. And Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the Lord; and the Lord slew him. And Judah said unto Onan, go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother. And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. And the thing which he did displeased the Lord: wherefore he slew him also. Then said Judah to Tamar his daughter in law, remain a widow at thy father's house, till Shelah my son be grown: for he said, lest peradventure he die also, as his brethren did. And Tamar went and dwelt in her father's house. And in process of time the daughter of Shuah, Judah's wife died; and Judah was comforted, and went up unto his sheepshearers to Timnath, he and his friend Hirah the Adullamite. And it was told Tamar, saying, behold thy father in law goeth up to Timnath to shear his sheep.  And she put her widow's garments off from her, and covered her with a vail, and wrapped herself, and sat in an open place, which is by the way to Timnath; for she saw that Shelah was grown, and she was not given unto him to wife. When Judah saw her, he thought her to be a harlot; because she had covered her face. And he turned unto her by the way, and said, go to, I pray thee, let me come in unto thee; (for he knew not that she was his daughter in law.) And she said, what wilt thou give me, that thou mayest come in unto me? And he said, I will send thee a kid from the flock. And she said, wilt thou give me a pledge, till thou send it? And he said, what pledge shall I give thee? And she said, thy signet, and thy bracelets, and thy staff that is in thine hand. And he gave it her, and came in unto her, and she conceived by him. And she arose, and went away, and laid by her vail from her, and put on the garments of her widowhood. And Judah sent the kid by the hand of his friend the Adullamite, to receive his pledge from the woman's hand: but he found her not. Then he asked the men of that place, saying, where is the harlot, that was openly by the way side? And they said, there was no harlot in this place. And he returned to Judah, and said, I cannot find her; and also the men of the place said, that there was no harlot in this place. And Judah said, let her take it to her, lest we be shamed: behold, I sent this kid, and thou hast not found her. And it came to pass about three months after, that it was told Judah, saying, Tamar thy daughter in law hath played the harlot; and also, behold, she is with child by whoredom. And Judah said, bring her forth, and let her be burnt. When she was brought forth, she sent to her father in law, saying, by the man, whose these are, am I with child: and she said, discern, I pray thee, whose are these, the signet, and bracelets, and staff.  And Judah acknowledged them, and said, she hath been more righteous than I; because that I gave her not to Shelah my son. And he knew her again no more. And it came to pass in the time of her travail that, behold, twins were in her womb. And it came to pass, when she travailed, that the one put out his hand: and the midwife took and bound upon his hand a scarlet thread, saying, this came out first. And it came to pass, as he drew back his hand that, behold, his brother came out: and she said, how hast thou broken forth? This breach be upon thee: therefore his name was called Pharez. And afterward came out his brother that had the scarlet thread upon his hand: and his name was called Zarah.

This is an interesting story in the bible, because it’s full of inconsistencies in the character of one of Jacob’s sons, Judah, which means praise.  Now Judah went out on his own, away from his brothers, and encountered a Canaanite, and he took his daughter away with him, and she gave him three sons.

Now what struck me is that it says that Judah took her, but it isn’t clear as to whether they were married, or just playing house.  I’m not going to assume anything, but stay with me, because I want to prove a point.  He found a wife for his firstborn son, Er, and her name was Tamar.

Unfortunately, he was acting in a wicked manner, which displeased the Lord, so He killed him in His divine providence.  Don’t think that He doesn’t still do that, if we want to act a fool.  That was a warning as food for thought.  Anyway, Judah told his next son, Onan to follow tradition and marry his brother’s widow and have children with her as a memorial to his brother.  Now, I’m about to get raw, so don’t be offended.  Onan was resentful, because he knew that in the Israelite tradition, when the brother of a deceased man marries his widow and consummates the union, should she become pregnant, the child belongs to the dead brother, not him.

Onan wasn’t trying to have it, so he had sex with his new wife, but pulls out when he has an orgasm.  Brothers, don’t act like you haven’t done this, because you want to have the intimacy, but not the attachment, so instead of being responsible, you try to get out before your seed is released into the woman.  No offense, but obviously God wasn’t having it, and took him out.

Now you would think that Judah would have learned his lesson by releasing Tamar from his family, so that she could marry a decent guy and have a family.  But no!  He comes up with the great idea for her to stay in his house, wait for his youngest son to come of the age to marry her, which would make her a cougar, by the way, and have a family.

This was the dumbest thing that he could have done.  It was totally unfair to Tamar, who would have to wait at least 15 to 20 years for this little boy to grow up, and her life span wasn’t guaranteed.  So when Shelah, the youngest son became an adult, she didn’t become his wife.  It appears that Judah just kept making one bad decision after another, and it affected everyone connected to him.  After losing two of out of three of his kids, then he loses his wife.

Well, Tamar was going to teach him a lesson.  She takes off her traditional mourning clothing and finds a sexy outfit to put on, and goes down to where the prostitutes hang out.  Judah is on the prowl, and since sees the beautiful girl, wearing a veil.  Of course, being a widower, he is lonely, and wants some action, so he gets at Tamar, not recognizing her, because she is covered, so they get busy.

When he gets ready to leave, she asks him for something to remember her by.  So he gave her some important trinkets, his signet ring and a bracelet.  Some time passes, and he sends a kid to retrieve the items that he gave the prostitute, but she wasn’t found.  Meanwhile, a rumor was going around that Tamar was pregnant, and that she had been sleeping around.

In the Jewish tradition, if a woman is found to be pregnant and unmarried, she was to be killed, because she went against the word of God according to the rules and regulations found in Leviticus.  The accusations were harsh, because the people who told Judah made him believe that she had been creeping.  When he calls for her to be burned to death, she appears, but not before sending Judah a message with the items saying the father of her child owns these possessions, and to see if he recognizes them before she is put to death.

Imagine the blood draining from his face as he acknowledges that the trinkets belong to him.  Totally embarrassed, Judah admits that he hadn’t been fair to Tamar, and that she was more righteous than he, because he didn’t give her to his youngest son to marry, like he was supposed to.  Obviously, that fixed his little red wagon, and he didn’t sleep with her again, because she was his daughter in law.

As the story goes, she gave birth to twins.  Let me say something right here, because this is important to notice.  Even though Tamar had to resort to deception in order to get what she ultimately wanted, Judah was to blame, because not only did he not use the good sense that the Lord gave him in his decision making, but things just kept getting worse for him.

In his protecting his daughter in law, who was a righteous woman, and didn’t deserve the knuckleheaded sons of Judah who got themselves killed because of their foolishness before God, she wanted what most women want, a good husband and a family.  Let’s bring this present day, shall we?

Sisters are going about it the wrong way.  We want to have a list of things that we want in a man, and if he doesn’t meet our little criteria, then it’s on to the next one.  Mind you, this tires you out, physically, mentally and emotionally.  If we would just seek the Lord, and wait on Him, then we could be qualified by him to be marriage material.

What do I mean by that?  I’m glad you asked, because young women don’t believe in marriage too much anymore, because they don’t see or haven’t experienced any role models that aren’t playing house, but are legally married, and did it God’s way.  Even within the younger generations, you hardly see any of their peers who got married and stayed married for any particular period of time past 3-5 years.

I want to shock your mind right now, because it needs to be said.  Ladies and gentlemen, if you really want to get married, and you’re serious about it, here are my suggestions.

1. If you have a wandering eye, or your hormones aren’t in check, then you aren’t ready for marriage. The wedding vows say that you have to forsake all others for that special someone.  If you haven’t resolved within yourself that this man or woman will be the absolute last person you will ever have sex with, then you need to stay single, and get your flesh and hormones under subjection with God’s help;
2. Make sure that you’re falling in love, and not infatuation or lust. The problem is that people don’t know what the difference is, and they’re ready to make a lifelong commitment that there is no possible way that they can keep if they don’t marry for the right reasons;
   1. This is a sidebar to let you know the difference between real love, infatuation and lust, so listen up, folks. This is a Sherrism, which means that this is my definition.  Real love is when you take away the hearts, flowers, romance and sex, and you can look at your intended and sincerely care about their wellbeing, that’s real love.  If your sentiments on your wedding day give you pause, then don’t do it;
   2. The vows say for better or worse, in sickness and in health, until death do you part. You are to love, honor and obey your spouse.  For some reason, that part is only said to women, and they get all in their feelings, because they may have not been raised by their father, so listening to their heartbroken mother, they may have a problem with that one.  Having been married for 28 years, I promise you that there will not be sunny days all the time.  New Edition said can you stand the rain.  When you’re young, you expect to be healthy.  But what happens if your spouse gets a major injury, or worse, a life threatening diagnosis?  Do you want to bail, because you can’t be bothered with watching them on life support, because it’s too boring, or you can’t imagine having to bathe, feed and clean them up?  Think about it.  I said the other day if the Lord should take your spouse home to be with Him, are you missing your best friend, or are you secretly happy to be rid of them?  This is where it gets real, saints!
3. Infatuation is what happens to kids when they see a cute girl or boy, and their imagination runs wild. In their minds, they’re already married with a couple of kids and pets, in a house with a white picket fence.  Mind you, they never have the courage to actually go to the kid and strike up a conversation, because they’re afraid that they will get all tongue tied, or fall on their face and look like a total geek.  Heaven forbid that happens, because then they’ll never want to go outside again;
4. Lust speaks for itself. Brothers, if your eyes are following the fly honey you want to nickname Big Booty Judy, then you aren’t respecting her.  If you’re a girl watcher, not because you want the Lord to give you discernment about your search for a wife, but because you’re admiring the shape of the opposite sex, then that’s lust.  If you’re secretly watching porn because you can’t get a date, that’s a warped view of a healthy sexuality and it opens the door for the enemy to bring about addiction in your life.  Sisters, I’m not leaving you out, because when a brother approaches you in the wrong way, don’t break him down like a fraction like Rihanna when she asks the rude boy can he get it up or if he’s big enough.  These are inappropriate ways to interact with the opposite sex, and you are definitely not ready for marriage if all you can think about is the next hook up.

I know that this was a lot of information, but as Daddy’s little girls, we need to be aware and discerning about what God’s will for our lives are, so we can avoid the pitfalls and disappointments that the enemy will throw our way.  May the Lord bless you, and we’ll see you tomorrow, God willing.