OLD ISSUES

Colossians 3:12-17 (NRSV)

As God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

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Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
- Colossians 3:13 (NIV)
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THIRTY-SIX years of marriage have brought my wife and me closer than I had thought possible; but recently, we had a serious argument, the first in many years. I asked what I thought was an innocent question. Her reaction - accusing me of being condescending and insulting - caught me off guard. I bristled. I hadn't said anything to warrant such a response. I became increasingly indignant. The tension mounted as she recounted past events that still angered her. Her words cut deep as my insecurities from previous years resurfaced.

Later, I struggled with what she had said. Did raising issues a decade old mean that she had considered me an awful person for years? What was behind her response? Her words had hurt me deeply, and I was in no mood to forgive.

However, scripture's admonitions to forgive are clear and non-negotiable. To withhold forgiveness would mean that I wanted to hurt her as she had hurt me. As long as I focused on my hurt feelings, whatever had precipitated her anger would remain unresolved. How many times has God forgiven me? I thought. I should do no less for my wife. Only when I was ready to forgive could we identify and resolve the real issue.

Prayer: God, keep us mindful of your patience and forgiveness so that we can be patient and forgiving. Amen.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
Forgiving means listening and addressing the real issue.

-- Thomas Dury (Colorado, U.S.A.)

PRAYER FOCUS: Couples long married