Struggling

18 years ago I meet the woman I thought I would spend the rest of my life with, not long after we started dating she find out that I used drugs. Never before did I have a desire to stop using drugs, but things were different now I wanted to build a life with her so I want into drug treatment and stayed clean for four years. During that four years I had made a name for myself in the recovery community and got saved. I was leading a new life, but one thing was missing. The woman I fell in love with was still with me but did not trust me, so it felt like I was going through this along. The sex was less, the touching was less. We got married after 7 years of dating but things did not change much and I kept turning back to drugs which made the situation worse. I was able to stay clean 2 years here and there and now I struggle to put 2 months together. I don't know what to do, I pray and talk to my pastor about it, but it seems he oaly see's the tears of my wife. I want to make this marriage work but I don't want to keep being punished. I am a very loving man that needs the attention from his wife. we are not having sex anymore and she has say she will seek sex else where. She is a good christian woman and I she loves me but we are both tried of being let down. There have been times when she has done things that were not right and I have not used it against her. I just don't know what to do, do I keep fighting for my marriage or do I let it go.

I welcome any and all comments.